Nuke the French!

　

I've just discovered a website created by an American living in France, which is entirely dedicated to thrashing out French people.　Its name couldn't be more explicit : Ihatefrenchpeople.com. Everything is said. Just read. And enjoy.　

"About Jaques-Francois Frenchhater

Bonjour Bonjour …

Je m’appelle … eh what the fuck. Hi there, i’m Jaques-Francois Frenchhater (not Frenchhatter, that’s someone else) and I have something against the french. When I say the french, I mean all the french. French cars, french bread, french fries, french women, french people, french tiny-stupid-zzzzzzzz-kids, french language, french politics, french thinking, french tv channels, french porn, french music and just everything related to frenchies.

I’m middle-aged, I have my own appartment (finally), I’m male, I do have a wife (she hates french people too), and we’re have a very hateful-towards-the-slimy-french kid who will probably be the end of France. I have a really nice job in advertising, at which french people do suck, and I earn a decent amount of money (enough to occasionally get a new tv, car, computer, dog, pillow, french portrait on which to play darts).

Now enough about me … let’s go over some FAQ … which is short for frequent asked questions and not something french-related.

1. Why do you have that blog ?

Because I bought it, own it, host it and write in it. And because I hate the french.

2. What are your thoughts on discrimination ?

It’s bad, it’s filthy, it’s a way of living, and yes, the french people do discriminate a lot. You know … there’s the world, and there’s the french.

3. Why do you hate french people so much ?

Read my blog everyday to find out.

4. Are you mentally ill ?

No, not really. But I would be if a french doctor would examine me.

5. No really, stop picking on french people !

I will at some point. It’s called the apocalypse (which is a term invented by the french, that announces the day in which they will rule the world !!!!)."

　

And this man is far from being the only French Hater. He even has a fanclub. Scary...

"Dude, you made my day!

After a long French-hating day. Being frenched around by these rude, smelly frogs, I could not help myself but to Google "I hate French People" and I found your blog. I am actually not in France but in Luxembourg. Luxembourgish are nice, but they get a lot of northern-Frenchies to work (mostly of cleaning up Luxembourgish people creappers and other hihgly qualified jobs). Of course Luxembourgish speak English, German, Luxembourgish, too, they have their own language, everything. When you encounter someone that does not speak anything but French and he/she is being an asshole to you, you have found a French. Seriously, las year 6 months in Paris, beautiful city, awesome, but I would still dron an H-bomb on it. Well, luckily the Frenchies are going to be out-breeded soon by the Algerians, Inch Allah.

Keep up the good French-hating!

Cheers!!! "

Does Jaques-François Frenchhater　really hate us? I don't think so. You don't　devote　3 years of your life (yes, this man has been thrashing　us out on his website for 3 years) writing on people you hate. As French people say, "qui aime bien châtie bien" (spare the rod, spoil the child).

However, this fan does hate us　:

"I just wanted to say that I also really hate and lothe the french people. They should all fuck off and die. I just really really hate them. Fuck them all! Nuke them! Do what ever it takes to get rid of those worseless motherfuckers. Next time I see someone from france I will do something bad to him/her. I’m not joking. I really hate them. So my question is: Will french people ever realize how hated they are? Europe and rest of the world hates you french motherfuckers!"

I've tried to find some humor or hidden meaning in this comment, but I'm still looking for it. This fan has made French-Hating a religion. I wouldn't like to meet him at night in a dark and empty street.

Jaques-François French-hater writes for parody purposes. Yes he does. It is written in　VERY small letters at the VERY　bottom of the　website page, but it is written.　Not　only has this　man a particular talent for parody, but he also　lives in the best playground　ever to exert his talent: Paris!

I hate Paris. More precisely, I hate Parisians. Paris would really　be the most wonderful place ever...if Parisians didn't live there. In fact, I am one of them, I was born in this awful place. But contrary to most Parisians, I don't proclaim it. I don't feel Parisian at all. I was forced to go back there this summer for a work placement and I started to hate them all after one week. I think I even started to hate the mankind.　
I hate them but I have to admit that they are funny. I like sitting on a banch or in the metro, watching people and sticking a label on them. It is stupid, it is all based on stereotypes and clichés, but it whiles the time away when you're waiting for your train of for the next metro train. Let me describe the two most distracting ones for me :

The elite

As the name suggests, it is only a minority of the Parisian population, even　if these people reign　over some districts.　What does the elite look like?

Clean. Dirt is for the poor. Rich. Poverty is for the others. Louis Vuitton handbag. Because you can't have quality under 1000 euros.

Among the elite, I make a distinction between 2 sub-categories. Those who have some class, and those who don't, depending on the number of logos in their outfit.

The ghetto b*tches

Same kind of look as the elite b*tches, but with plastic instead of leather and acrylic instead of cashmere. Fake Vuitton or fake Chanel from head to feet. Choose your team! Both will lose.

　

This is a bit beside the point, but I also like watching tourists in Paris. And laughing at them. But in fact, this is a kind of self-derision, because I'm more or less part of them.

French tourists

Some of them try to fit in with the Parisian crowd : they have a worried face and walk very fast in the metro, even if they have absolutely no idea about where they are going (that's the strategy I use). They just want to keep their tourist status secret. Because real Parisians hate French tourists. They are standing on the wrong side in the escalators,　do you realize!　Some others come on terms with their intruder tourist status and　don't hesitate to look　at the metro maps. The most courageous ones even dare ask their way. Respect.

Foreign tourists

They stop every 2 minutes to take pictures. And they are right. Those with a partner stop on each bridge　they　go over to kiss, because they think that's what all the Parisians do.　But that's what French tourists do.